Today I began a list of helpful tips for my kids dad (not that I think he'll use it) to have when they start their weekend visitations. You see, they have never been without me, never. I'm finding myself suddenly facing the thought of having to let them go overnight with someone who, lets just face it folks, has done nothing but donate to their DNA. He extremely lacks the caring and attentive aspect of fatherhood. I say all this to help you understand the root of my fear....
Through these past months I've been given reason upon reason to not question my God, time after time He has shown that He is covering us, and providing for us. Why then do I fear? Why do I doubt His ability to keep my children safe? Let me clarify, I don't spend my days worrying and fretting. However, my children are my life, my heartbeats, my world and the thought of them being neglected and not being cared for as I would, sets my heart to fear.
Here is the challenge for me; in that moment when I am so fearful my heart hurts, when those around me voice their fears as well, what can I do?! My fears are justified! My concerns are real! Yet my God requires me to turn over control (news flash, I really had no control to begin with lol). He understands my fears, so He lovingly continues to reassure me that HE can handle it, that HIS plan is far above anything I could do to protect my babies.
Its a constant battle in my mind, satan loves to hit you where you are weak. We are all naturally controlling so to let go and back up (especially when it pertains to your most valuable treasures) goes against our human nature. But I'm trying and I'm learning everyday that HIS way is best. Doesn't mean the times I let them go won't be horrible, it just means I have a big God who will stand by me and remind me that He's got it ALL in His hands and no matter what, its going to be ok.
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